holidays!

it's finally winter holidays! the past few weeks have been so slow with exams 3 weeks ago, and then just waiting for these dang holidays after exams. i got my report back and i've averaged A in english lanugage, B- in maths, A+ in religion & society, B in legal studies, B in music performance, and A- in psychology! yes! i did a lot better than i thought i did. but i got an E- in music for one performance because apparently i was singing in a completely different key to what i was playing on my guitar (probably caused my them nerves), but my teacher also said that i kept perfect tone and pitch throughout the entire song despite the fact i was playing guitar in a different key, and if i was playing in the same key i was singing i'd get an A+, but she gave me an E-, that i don't think i deserve. she also said that it's a "rare" talent to be able to do that without training, yet i was literally 2 marks from failing.

i got a new phone case yesterday...POKEMON!

i've been sick all week with no voice. i had a sore throat on thursday and friday, it went to my head on saturday and sunday, and on monday i felt perfectly fine...until i started talking and nothing came out! i still don't have a voice and it's been 6 days. i went to the doctor on wednesday and he said i have chronic laryngitis, and it won't last longer than a week. so i'm expecting to wake up tomorrow with a voice. i've never lost my voice like this before. the first time i ever lost my voice was at the beginning of this year, and it was barely for a day. weird.

but i'm so glad it's holidays! and i'm most exited for next friday, because my family go to thailand for 12 days and i'm not going! and i'm seeing les miserables at her majesty's theater on july 9! so exited! 

nightmares.

for as long as i can remember i've basically only had nightmares. my subconscious seems to think it's fun to terrorize me in my sleep, making me despise half the people in my life because of how they were involved in these nightmares.

i have 3 recurring nightmares. the first i'm in a basement with 2 other girls, and there's these nuns that check on us all the time, but we have to be sleeping or they'll attack us. so every time we hear someone come down the stairs we lie on the floor, because there's no furniture. the second i'm in england (weird because i live in australia), but i have this massive gun, and there's all these people that i know and i just shoot them. i think i've killed everyone that i could possible think of by now. the third i had last night, it's kind of the same as the first one, but i'm at my home, and these people come to our house, but i have to hide. my dad always lets them in. for some reason the dreams have made me despise my dad.

i often wonder whether this is caused by my schizo brain or something. i'm terrified during my dreams, but when i wake up, even after shooting and killing those close to me, i just don't care.

i remember when i was really young, i'd always have this dream that i was with the wiggles, and there was this massive hairy monster that was chasing us, and we were in some mario brothers setting, really weird, but i was sort of obsessed with the wiggles back in the day.