coexist.

it's crazy how we all live in societies and praise gods and leaders that teach love and acceptance, and things like this continue to happen everyday all around the world. christians, muslims, jews: we were all one religion at some point, we all still praise the god of abraham, the only difference is that we chose to follow a different person to teach us about our god. we all live in one planet, we all desire one thing: to live a good life and be with our creator after our time here is over. i don't understand why things like this happen. it makes me so angry. are these people so invested in satan that they want to make their and everyone's lives miserable? are they forced to do this by a single evil body? these people don't deserve their freedom of movement, they deserve to be locked up in a prison cell for the rest of their lives. and when i say life, i actually mean until the day they die, not the 20-25 years that is considered "life" in australia. the people that have died in the last day from the situation in sydney, someone in there could have been someone who one day will change the world, ended all of this. i don't even know what to say anymore, this whole thing makes zero sense at all. i can only conclude with that some people are idiots and this picture my mum shared on facebook :)

there's nothing wrong with that!

i'm gonna begin with the cliche "gays", because i just wanna get this over and done with. people think "coming out" is a big deal. but why? straight people don't come out. it's 2014, what happened to equality?! people don't need to know who you like, people shouldn't care who you like. i also hate it when people say "gay people are always nice to everyone" and "gay people are awesome"... what is it exactly that makes them "awesome"? is it the fact that they like to have sex with people who have the same bits in between their legs, because that's the only difference.

so many people think that because someone doesn't do something their way, it's wrong. but why is that person wrong? probably because they're introverted, smaller, or just a target. if someone wants to wear makeup half an inch thick - let them! it's their body, they can do what they want with it. people go around saying "be yourslef [blah blah blah blah blah]", and then they judge someone for wearing this shirt that they just happen to like, causing them to stop wearing it, meaning they're not totally being themselves. i've seen people being judged for a piece of thread hanging off their shirt, like, WHAT?!

what is really normal though?

goodbye holidays.

the winter holidays have finished so fast. this sucks. my parents and brothers have been in thailand, while i decided to stay home, so i'm living with my nan...fun. she's generally cool, but extremely annoying. first of all she drags me around to all her little commitments. today's the first day in 6 days where i've actually been home, for the past 6 days i've literally been out from 11 AM to midnight. my holidays are WASTED. last week she crashed into my dad's car, which is always fun, and yesterday i had to go to the hospital for an appointment and the hospital is in parkville, it took 90 minutes to get there (usually takes an hour), because she didn't trust her GPS. then after the appointment it literally took 5 hours to get from parkville to carlton, when it should take 15 minutes at the most. i swear she has alzheimer's because she was saying that we've only been in the car for 10 minutes for the whole 5 hours, and she was literally driving in circles, claiming that she's never been on that street for 5 hours straight. then it took another 2 hours to get home because we were caught in the dead middle of peak hour traffic.

i have school on monday, which i'm dreading. i've literally been doing homework all holidays, i'm actually doing homework right now (apart from writing this). holidays are meant to be a break from school, but i seriously do just as much work, not to mention daymap (student portal thing) never works on weekends or holidays, even though people need it more on the weekends and holidays. so i'm not sure if i'm finished all my homework since i wasn't at school on the last day.

i just can't wait to leave school. 15 more months and i'm freeeeeee!

idiot teachers.

so i seem to have had a really bad day today. first period i had legal studies and i had an outcome, which went really well, but we got our marks back from the last outcome and i got 40%! which means a re-submission is required. i failed because of lack of detail. it was expected, so it wasn't that bad, but i've redone it and i'm going to hand it in as a draft tomorrow just to be on the safe side. but my teacher kept me in for the entire recess, which sucked because i didn't get to eat so i had to resort to eating in math class in period 2.

then period 3 came along...i had religion & society. my teacher is a priest who is probably the least priest-like person you'll ever meet. he's rude and constantly tell me and my 2 friends in that class that he hates us. so i had an outcome due today in r&s, it was on personal religious experience (something that i'm very passionate about) and it came out to be 4,398 words...yup. my teacher didn't accept this. i've cut it down to 1,850 words, but i can't do anything more than that, but my teacher won't accept that either. on the criteria sheet it said minimum 1,200 words, but kids in my class were doing 1,300 words and he was still saying that it was too much. HE DIDN'T FREAKING SPECIFY ANY MAXIMUM WORD LIMIT HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW?! he's basically asking for exactly 1,200 words. i can't possibly do that, so i've just re-submitted it as 1,850 words. i literally tried so hard and put so much effort into that, and then i'm told i have to remove 1/3 of it. his reason for not wanting more than 1,200 words was because he can't be bothered reading them all. YOU'RE A TEACHER IT'S YOUR JOB!!! but apparently he's a taxi driver on the weekends too...and an ex-cia member...priest, teacher, taxi driver, cia...hmm

so basically today i failed one outcome because of too little detail, and i failed another because of too much detail. my r&s teacher is a little idiot.

trust issues.

i've always had trust issues. i've never really become "attached" to another person. i don't honestly consider people friends. i don't think any of my "friends" like me, they probably don't - better safe than sorry. i'd rather sit in my bedroom alone all day instead of going to the movies with people, because i know i'll just be a burden. i know i annoy everyone, and i know i can't help it. i'd never trust somebody to keep a secret. i'd never trust somebody to not talk about me behind my back.

i wonder if i'll ever find a person who i can actually call a friend?

i can't be bothered

so lately i just can't be bothered. and by lately, i mean in the past year. the only difference is that i have to put effort into school this year, last year i barely tried, barely did my homework. i even failed english both semesters. i have a homework/study schedule, but i decided not to do anything tonight, because there wasn't anything urgent, and i only had a few hours of sleep last night because i was trying to chase a dang mouse out of my room until 1 am (we're infested!), and then i lay in my bed all night being all paranoid and "seeing" mice everywhere. i even saw them in mid-air at time...stupid brain!

my family are annoying the crap out of me, as always. we're always fighting. and my brothers are literally the most annoying little idiots to walk the planet that won't leave me alone even if i hit a plate across their head (that actually happened once). i feel like i'm just not happy.

but what is making me happy is that my aunt/god mother had a baby! i have a new little cousin, this would be my 6th cousin on my mum's side (we don't really see my dad's side). my mum's family are very, very close. we see each other almost everyday, and always on the weekends for lunch and dinner. my cousins are like my siblings, but i actually like them because they're all 7-16 years younger than me, so basically they view me as an adult. they also play nice so when i babysit them, i'll let them stay up late. haha!!!

homework sucks!

so i'm going back to school tomorrow after autumn break. the problem is...i barely got a holiday. i literally spent the majority of everyday doing homework. i can't seem to understand why we spend 7-8 hours a day at a school doing school work, then our teachers give us 3-4 hours of homework to do that night, and 10 hours of homework over the weekend, and at least 3 hours per day of homework to do on the holidays. ihe holidays are meant to be a break from homework and school work, yet we do just as much!!!